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In a moment of abandon myself and my friend Gillian have decided to watch all of Blake’s 7 from the beginning and I decided to document the process so that you fair reader could share our journey through all 52 episodes of the BBC’s greatest space opera. So we began at the beginning with The Way Back. The very first episode of Blake’s 7. We open with the now legendary opening credit sequence and already the theme tune is drawing plaudits. Gillian:
Honestly, this is in my top ten theme tunes of all time. ba ba bab bah baaaah Dave:
It’s so overwrought. Gillian:
BA BA BADDA BADDA BADDA! Dave:
(Singing along to the theme)
“Things are blowing up! Stuff is Happening!” The opening shot is of a CCTV camera watching over the people of a white utopian city. You just know that trouble is brewing. Gillian:
Stuff Trek and mobiles- every CCTV camera in the world looks exactly like that Dave:
You know something is up. It looks very Logan’s Run. Gilian:
it does We see Blake for the first time wearing the kind of tabard that is now favored by the staff of Morrison’s. He meets two members of the underground who tell him that he needs to meet someone regarding his family. As political activists they are less then impressive. Dave:
These first two rebels are a bit wet. Gillian:
oh they're rubbish Dave:
It’s like a student protest. “We’re off to a sit in at the library.” Gillian:
"we've printed up some leaflets and Jeremy is working on a poem that's very moving" Blake and his two new undergraduate friends sneak out through a side door of their dome and make their way across an abandoned car park to a small stream where they have a little chat about being drugged by the government while the take off their shoes. Blake decides that trippy suppressants make water taste better. Gillian:
This bit reminds me of a scene in Fahrenheit 451 Dave:
The rebels keep walking through the stream barefoot. No wonder Blake doesn’t like the taste. It’s only about six inches deep. Why are they taking their shoes off? Gillian:
Because in the future, shoes are water soluble. that's why they live in a dome. it's a bitch when it rains. They make their way to a concrete bunker full of bleak tunnels full of extras dressed shabbily. Some are in ponchos as clearly this will be the garment of choice for the down and out dissident of the future. Blake, appalled that these people don’t dress as well as him decides to back out and report everything. He’s told that he has to speak to someone called Foster. “I don’t want to hear Foster” Blake moans. Gillian:
I don't want to hear Foster! he makes poor lager. Where's Stella? Stella? STelllllaaaaaaa! Foster turns out to be quite an avuncular American with massive side burns. Their cozy little chat is interrupted buy the arrival of the sinister man who has been following the whole time but apparently is on the side of the rebels. Yeah right. Gillian
Wrong un!!! Dave:
He has a limp. Gillian:
"What's my motivation? I really feel my character would limp and stroke his chin” Dave:
And looking sinister in the background. Foster tells Blake who he really is and we are shown a very stylishly shot flashback sequence of Blake’s capture four years ago where he apparently he was wearing the same outfit he has on now. Gillian:
I love this sequence Blake is seen in a memory wiping machine with his face in agony. Something is noticed about the state of Federation dentistry. Dave:
Blake has fillings. Blake decides to go for a stroll to take in the fact that he has just been told he’s Che Guevara in a tabard. Meanwhile everyone else gathers for the meeting. Dave:
This is so polite and middle class. “Come along now, everyone form a group we’re starting the meeting now” It’s like the rebels are descended from Sergeant Wilson from Dad’s Army.
Gillian:
The extras are ace. Lots of nodding and looking concerned. While Blake is having his stroll he is disturbed in his musing by a buggy full of guards so naturally he legs it and hides. Meanwhile the meeting is continuing and their strategy becomes clear. They are going to hit the Federation with a campaign of civil disobedience. Dave:
Civil disobedience. It’s a campaign of being naughty! Gillian:
“No - we will not clear our own trays in the canteen” The meeting is just about to embark on the riveting subject of the disruption of food manufacturing when it is mercifully cut short by the guards who promptly slaughter everyone. Dave:
Foster pulls such a comedy face when he gets shot. Gillian:
Not as much as the rebel lass. “Oh no! I has been shot at with a Zippo!” Blake, like a true hero, comes out of his hiding place after the shooting is over and finds a room full of dead bodies. The room is silent and his face looks impassive. Something which Gillian is not happy with. Gillian:
I wish his reaction to that had been stronger Dave:
He’s a bit traumatised and he’s taken a lot on board. It’s probably shock. Gillian:
I'd like him to have vomited frankly. Not on screen, that would be grim. But there's like forty dead bodies Dave:
I’m sure he did on the way back. Blake goes back to the dome and is captured the instant he walks through the door. We’re treated to the flashback again but without Foster’s voice over and then we see that Blake is now being given a once over by a Psychiatrist. Blake goes a bit bonkers in his cell. Dave:
This is all a bit trippy and stylised this bit. Gillian:
yeah Blake’s status is discussed by the Doctor a man called Glynd and a woman named Morag to who Gillian has taken a dislike. Gillian:
She is EVIL! I hate her. Evil dwarf woman. Dave:
This is such a polite conversation about destroying another human being. Gillian:
It's very much how I imagine these conversations really are The doors to Glynd’s office are a source of amusement. Dave:
Swooshing Star Trek style doors except that they are just regular manual doors. I guess automatic ones were beyond their budget. Gillan:
yeah. The chap with the limp turns out to be a traitor and not dead (surprise, surprise). Blake is set up on charges and is assigned a lawyer called Varon who goes to see Blake in his cell. The screeching voice that announces that he’s having a visitor is strangely familiar. Dave:
Is Terry Jones doing the voice of the security computer? “He’s not a rebel leader, he’s a very naughty boy.” Gillian:
"Blake! have you got a GURL in there?" Blake discovers that he’s not on trial for what he thinks he is. The Federation have fitted him up as a pedophile. You get the feeling that even the new Battlestar Galactica wouldn’t go that dark with a plotline. Gillian:
this is so intense. When I watched it with a friend he was aghast. Dave:
Blake is aghast, then furious. Gillian:
And then vomits again. Dave:
I’m surprised he has anything left. Blake goes on trial. When I say trial I actually mean that two glowing balls are placed on a shelf and a computer decides if he did it or not. Gillian:
I love the scales of justice thing Dave:
Hyperdrive did a parody of this bit. Gillian:
did it? Dave:
2nd series when Kevin Eldon’s character was on trial. Gillian:
I only caught the odd episode after the first two. It made me sad. Blake is condemned via the glowing ball of guilt. Morag is looking smug much to Gillian’s disgust. Gillian:
Boo hiss evil witchy woman. Dave:
She has a face you want to slap to be sure. Blake is sentenced to life on the penal colony of Cygnus Alpha. Gillian:
*snigger* she said "penal" Blake tries to plead his innocence and explain he was stitched up like a kipper. He gets injected with something to calm him down for his trouble and passes out in the middle of the court. Just to make sure that we have got the point we see the flashback of Blake’s capture yet again. Dave:
I bet he vomits again. Gillian:
Maybe a dry heave. Dave:
Is this the third time we have seen the flashback? Gillian:
I think so yeah Blake is now in the holding area waiting for transit to Cygnus Alpha. He’s still asleep and we see Vila for the first time nicking his snazzy digital watch. Dave:
Vila, what a thieving git. Mind you Douglas Adams was right. In the future digital watched are still considered a pretty neat idea. Gillian:
Digital watches are terrible. Blake wakes up and nearly punches Vila’s lights out. Vila objects saying “I hate personal violence especially when I’m the person.” Gillian:
Great first line from Vila Dave:
And the rest are just as good too. Gillian:
He looks so young! Dave:
Well Fighting the Federation ages a man. We also meet Jenna for the first time. Gillian approves of her dress sense. Gillian:
Jenna’s outfit is great. Dave:
It’s a great introduction for Vila and Jenna. Gillian.
it is Varon meanwhile has gone home to his wife. They talk about his day at work and engage in some very clinical kissing. Dave:
That’s such actor like snogging. You can tell they have only just met each other that afternoon.
Gillian:
totally Varon and wife decide to look deeper into Blake’s case so go to visit the records computer. There they find a technician grooving away on his techno sunglasses that apparently play music through his eyes. Gillian:
I love this dude with his future walkman. Dave:
I’m still waiting for apple to release the iShades. “Beaming entertainment directly into your brain!” Varon sees that the three kids who accused Blake of the bad things were all off school on the same day. Gillian:
I love that there are exactly three kids who were off school that day so it has to be a pattern. Dave:
No one dares miss school in the Federation. You probably get shot. I do love the computer guy though. He’s one of Blake’s 7’s little people. Only a minor character but you get where he’s coming from straight away and comes across as fully realised. Gillian:
Yeah, i was just thinking that. The first example of a Fed little guy. Dave:
And he looks so smug when he shops them to security. Gillian:
Yeah, dick Varon and wife now believe Blake and go to visit him. Blake tells him about the meeting place and the limping chap who’s name is Tarrant. Gillian:
How many character names sound like Del Tarrant? Dave:
He’s the first in a multitude of Tarrant’s. It was Terry Nation’s nickname he uses it in a lot of his scripts. Tarrant’s have appeared in some of his Dr Who stuff as well. Gillian:
Oh! i didn't know that. that's very interesting Trying to stop Blake’s deportation Varon goes to see his boss. Unfortunately his boss happens to be Glynd. The man who set up Blake in the first place. Gillian:
Yeah, nice work monkey - go straight to the baddies and tell them everything. Dave:
Bless him, he’s so naïve and so dead. Gillian:
Glynd is so avuncular for an evil bastard. Realizing that his boss is in on it too Varon calls up the Doctor who treated the kids pretending to be Glynd, fooling the Doctor with the cunning method of not attempting to impersonate Glynd in any way. Dave:
You’d think he’d try to put a hankie over the communicator or something. Back at the holding area the prisoners are being moved onto the ship. Dave:
I’m loving that loud American guard. “SINGLE FILE, THAT MEANS ONE BEHIND THE OTHER!” Varon and wife have now found their way to where the meeting got massacred and find that the bodies are still there. This does not sit well with Gillian. Gillian:
Right, I know the feds don't think anyone goes out there, but is leaving all the bodies kicking about really a wise move? That's bugged me every time I've watched it. Dave:
The cleaners are probably disgruntled rebels and are embarking on a campaign of civil disobedience by not cleaning up. “Clear up your own corpses.” Gillian:
The first rule of Rebel club is you do not talk about rebel club. The prisoners are now on board the ship and are being told to fasten their seatbelts. Blake somehow doesn’t hear the loud American guard ask why he hasn’t done his up and is punished by having his seat spun around so it faces a different way from everyone else and some plastic tubes fastened over his arm. Blake looks a little under whelmed by his punishment. Gillian:
Bad Man! you must sit like you're on a rollercoaster! The ship takes off watched by the evil Tarrant who is standing over the bodies of Varon and wife who’s successful investigation as come to an abrupt end. This is a pity as it puts a stop to the spin off show that would surely have followed. Gillian:
*sob* poor lawyer man and his missus Blake looks wistfully out of the window at the rapidly diminishing photo of the Earth. When told that’s the last he’ll ever see he says. “No, I’m coming back” Gillian:
YEAH baby Dave:
You tell him son. As the end credits play we have time to reflect on what we have just watched. Dave:
That was very “Play For Today” and unlike anything else that came after it in the series. Gillian:
Yeah. it's good though. It makes the contrast between the running about in fields and quarries, compared to the set based stuff on earth a really stark comparison Dave:
Anyone expecting more political intrigue in the future when they tuned in the week after would have been disappointed. Gillian:
Hmm. I dunno. The way it follows the action on the ship, is sort of in the same vein, just a different type of oppressive regime. Then Brian Blessed is another again. Mind you anyone tuning in for a bit of cheesy sci-fi would’ve been a bit WTF. Which is a good thing. And there it was. First episode done and dusted. Now we had Spacefall to look forward to but that is another story.
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